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Solar Power: Will The World End On Dec. 31, 2099? (3/7/2012)

Now I’m a journalist by trade — not a scientist. However, I do consider myself an amateur astronomer, paleontologist and general rock hound, and recently, I discovered something while procrastinating at work that sent a chill down my spine.

I was playing with the date and time setting expecting it to carry on infinitely. But then something horrifying happened. The calendar stopped on Thursday, December 31, 2099. Now, I’m not using some Mayan sundial — I’m using Windows 7. 64 BIT! There’s only one conclusion — that’s the day the earth will end. Bill Gates, the government and Microsoft know all about it and they’re hiding the truth. Now before I ask for your input, here are a few FACTS you should know:

A total solar eclipse will occur on September 14, 2099. 9-14-2099. 9 + 14 = 23. 2099/23 = 91.26. 2010 + 91.26 = impossible to solve! You can’t go past December 31, 2099! How do you explain that you close-minded ARROGANT scientists???

12+31+2099 = 2142. 2142-43=2099!!!

NGC 2099. On December 31, 2099, you’ll be able to draw a straight line from the center of earth to the center of open cluster NGC 2099!!! This will cause a cataclysmic gravitational magnetic antimatter supernova and the gamma ray burst will completely destroy earth!!! (Remember, earth and NGC 2099 will be connected by a straight line on that day. The odds of that occurring are 1 in 10 x 7^2099 power! Coincidence? No. Fact. Scientific fact.

Here’s the smoking gun:
The Comet Hale Bopp, known for the UFO that hides behind it that sucks up people’s souls to paradise with the proper dose of Kool-Aid, will return in the year 4385. 4385-2099 = 2286! That’s the same year an alien probe will reach earth and attempt to communicate with humpback whales. Unfortunately, us foolish hoo-mans killed them all and so Captain Kirk will take a Klingon Bird of Prey back in time by traveling around the sun at warp 10. When he arrives in the 1980s, he will set in motion a chain of events that will lead to earth’s virtually impossible linear alignment with NGC 2099.

So that’s why I think the earth will end on December 31, 2099. Afterall, why would my Windows 7 calendar be wrong?

Please, explain to me why I’m wrong (which I’m not). Will the earth really end on December 31, 2099?

Once I see how you try to answer my startling question, I think I’ll create a Web site devoted to my end of the world propheFACT.
Nikki, I’m sorry you’re so close minded. I have an HP! It would go beyond 2099 if it could but it can’t because the world MUST be ending. And I’m certain I’ll be alive in 2099 because of the cybernetic implants I’ll probably receive in the 2060s. Granted, I might be more machine than human, but I’ll still be able to love.
To answer your question, Mo Smith, one who is underpaid, overworked, unappreciated and sick of reading stupid questions about 2012 Mayan goobily-goo predictions.

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Lucas C March 7, 2012 at 6:00 am

Ha ha ha ha…very good sir. But quite wrong. The world won’t end on December 31, 2099. I’m going to destroy it tomorrow. I’m going to hit it with a Nibiru in the conservatory! Toodles!

Nikki March 7, 2012 at 6:23 am

Problem, journalist?

March 7, 2012 at 6:28 am

Not because of any of the nonsense you just typed.

Two points ALWAYS make a straight line. If the gravity of two objects lined up with each other meant the end of the world, the world would have stopped existing as soon as two objects formed.

Did you really say “Kool-aid?”

DON C March 7, 2012 at 7:01 am

GREAT!!

Y2.1K

..That’s all we need..

Delta V March 7, 2012 at 7:09 am

At first I thought you were actually serious about all the nonsense in your non-question. Then I realized that you’ve just concocted a very well-done joke.

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”

Mo Smith March 7, 2012 at 7:48 am

whoa… what kind of journalist did you claim to be?

Edward March 7, 2012 at 8:43 am

That’s it. Well, Astronomy & Space, looks like we’re going have to add those new hyperspace rockets to Nibiru, just so this doesn’t get out. Hopefully the pole shift will kill the entire internet!

The world will end FAR BEFORE YOU PREDICT!!

All kidding aside, this made my day.

MeggieTheMaggot March 7, 2012 at 9:24 am

Vulcanus March 7, 2012 at 9:52 am

I think the world is going to end tomorrow morning about 5:30 – and I can prove it too when I sober up.

GeoffG March 7, 2012 at 10:21 am

You’re lucky to live under a beneficent god Gates. I am a subject of the antichrist Jobs, and he has decreed that the world ends in 2037.

Rob B March 7, 2012 at 10:38 am

TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!…Just thought you should no. *faints*

Chris March 7, 2012 at 11:09 am

At first I thought this was serious, then as I read on i realized it’s very funny satire of the infinate 2012 questions we get here. Nicely done. I lawled.

YahooUser March 7, 2012 at 12:07 pm

You should use a Mac.

You have experienced firsthand what happens when you trust the government and use Windows.

AJ March 7, 2012 at 12:11 pm

chill out,,,,y even consider the date since u will not even b alive…….learn to live for each day, make the best of each day and make love to your partner everyday as though it was the last time you would have a chance…….be well, live with a smile 4 u never know when that special person will pass by and notice that incredible smile of yours