Verse 1:
I countered sound waves with versatile wordplay/
rapping to a beat that was equipped with solar rays/
but black thoughts surrounded my brain roots/
critics went at me like a Business man to a new suit/
brought me down like the titanic damn white star line/
but i saw a sign from the sematic a new rap tactic/
no hip hop slave the new techniques stuck to me like mastic/
new rhythms, the symptom to produce the algorithm/
new state of equilibrium that tamed the devil’s spectrum/
the electron beat, the protons lyrics/
the thunderous applause moved my spirit/
now that my mind is filled with wisdom/
sent a Alzheimer to the cerebellum to kill the enigma/
I was becoming bright the vega of my saga/
passed deneb enhanced the level of segas/
metaphor king, not intriuged by bling/
but to compel the young rappers to do the same thing/
put gas in the essence to power the adolescent/
to not go for the dough go for the show/
and enhance the pressence of today’s present/
scared seeds want gats to hide terror/
and failure but fact is youll make error/
go off graphs and clean the aftermath/
like albert enstien does in math class/now look at me eating mc’s making them go on there knees/
cause my techniques feed more seeds than god degree/
im 14 years of age
idk maybe this sone
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
7…
You are pretty good sir and extremely good given your age. Thacorner.net has a “cypher” subforum where rappers can post their lyrics and you might be interested in it-
http://thacorner.net/forums/index.php?topic=399.0
while i think the rhyme is good…in the end when i hear verses like these it usually leaves me with the “N*gga Please” feeling…
7/10….as a rhyme its good…but its not very tangible so to speak.
oh and at 14 you should be happy you can even write like that….it would be nice if you can make your bars more relatable and understanding while keeping the same lyricism.
You’re 14!? Damn, i’m older than you…But your rap was still pretty good.
7.5
I wish I could write like that at that age. when I was writing at age 14, my material was sorta basic & explicit at the same time. keep writing. by the time you get to that age where you want to get serious with this, your material will be perfect as you want it to be.
7.5
lol GZA influence written all over this.
8/10